In our last post we discussed changemaking. Naturally, talking about change in our personal life, our community, or the world is easier said than done. But, what's the main obstacle to initiating change? For most of us, it's our self-limiting thoughts.
Does this sound familiar? "Taking a painting class would allow me to feel more creative and fulfilled but I just don't have the time."
Or this? "I want to start an urban garden for my community but I have no clue where to start."
How about this? "I'd really love to document human rights issues around the globe but I don't have the experience or the qualifications."
Well hey, for me all of these examples were, and still are, my classic self-limiters. I had always told myself that I could never start my own business because of a lack of time, experience, and of course not knowing where to begin. A few years later, here I am in the initial stages with you by my side.
But the hardest part was to start. Working up the courage just to BEGIN took much more time than taking the first step. It took at least a few months of mental cheerleading to feel like I could even initiate the process.
That's exactly why the way we talk to ourselves matters. If I had thought of that first step as a marathon, or next to impossible, I would have never begun. But I tried to think of it as what it was: a baby step. Nice and simple.
At the root of it, we self-limit because we fear true happiness and success. Seeking these things challenges us to reach beyond our mental and physical barriers. It coaxes us to step into the unknown. What could you discover there?
In the end, this organization is called Rehumanize Me and not Humanize Me because we are working with something that is already there. Uncover this essence by transforming the three main ways we hold ourselves back.
Convert Comparison to Creation
Recently a friend told me that comparison is the thief of joy. And when you reflect on all the times you have compared yourself to someone in the past, how did you feel after? Not good. We can never fulfill our potential if we're too busy calculating how much better we do this or how much we wish we could be in someone else's shoes.
What can you create with who you are and where you find yourself right now? When your inner dialogue becomes less about comparing and more about living each moment to the fullest, everything starts to fall into place. Your heart begins to inform your thoughts and actions instead of your ego. Only good can come from that.
Shed the Old to Bring in the New
Have you ever felt like you are acting out old roles that people pinned on you in the past or that you pin on yourself? The people pleaser, the leader, the activist, the victim, the artist, the socialite, the perfectionist, the comedian. These roles may have been fitting for you in high school, but do they still serve you? If they are detrimental, it's time to scrap them.
First notice the stories you tell yourself and that others tell you. What parts of yourself are limited by these stories? By becoming aware of this you begin to notice limiting phrases you use on a regular basis like "I'm not good enough to..." or just "I could never...". Stop right there and remember that you are in constant evolution no matter what you or other people expect of you. You can shed the outer layer to reveal a new and brilliant self! Allow the past to nourish your roots, but constantly seek new opportunities to grow your branches even if it seems to be completely out of the ordinary.
Let Societal Expectations Go
Regardless of what stage my business is in, my self-doubt continues to linger..."Am I doing the right thing?" "Will this positively impact the world?" "Is this what I want to dedicate my time to?" Sometimes these lingering doubts are tied to beliefs that my vision of success and what will make me happy is completely unattainable. So I had to take a step back and ask why.
Society tells us that to be happy and successful we need to find a stable job, find a partner, and settle down. But that simply isn't the lifestyle I want, at least not right now. I value independence and freedom way too much. Shouldn't we all place more emphasis on the values that bring us happiness rather than societal values? Seems like a no-brainer, but think of your top three values and if they are in line with your day-to-day. If so, congratulations on taking the first step towards change.
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