Months before starting high school, I made the dance team, something that surprised me because, while I had a natural charisma and lots of physical ability, learning choreography was VERY difficult for me.
I still remember the whole team being forced to rehearse one kickline combo over and over and over again until I got it...I felt SO ashamed and humiliated by that.
When I made the switch from gymnastics to dance a few months prior, I wasn't expecting to be challenged by so many mental roadblocks.
I was athletic and capable, had high flexibility and stamina, but needed so much more time to learn the steps than the other dancers, most of whom had been in dance since toddler times.
Almost every night before I fell asleep, I obsessively rehearsed the choreography in my mind, hoping that it would eventually raise me up to the same level as everyone else.
In short, I wasn't comfortable in my skin when I danced, desperately trying to replicate the more experienced people on the team, but that started to shift at a high school dance one day...
While something like Black Eyed Peas played over the speakers, one of my friends noticed me standing in our weird circle of girls hardly moving and awkwardly existing in my sparkly semi-formal dress.
She called me out and said a little harshly, "Why aren't you dancing, Kimberly? You're on the dance team so DANCE!"
Intimidated, I tried to force myself to move my bod, running around in my mind for bits of choreography that I learned that past week.
Side note: I think we were working on a routine to "Lose Control" by Ciara (one of my forever favorites). Me and another dance team friend still remember that choreo LOL.
I started with steps that I'd been taught because, at the time, moving in an improvised way felt REALLY intimidating! Luckily that's a learnable skill!
And over the next few years, I got better at both scripted and unscripted forms of dance.
These days, I learn choreo super quickly, but more importantly, I have a strong intuitive relationship with my body and my movement, which feels like true freedom!
When I look back, I see a girl that was terrified to let loose and be fully expressed in her body.
Seventeen years later, I wiggle around anytime I can! I'm able to release, expand, and channel movement in a way that feels exciting and true to me.
Most of the time though, I see the opposite, especially in the dance world or in any sort of movement world.
We've been trained to follow certain steps, moves, or poses to achieve a specific style, look, or genre and it might not be what wants to come through our souls or bodies in that moment.
Everywhere I look, I see major creativity and also major conformity, which can happen physically but also emotionally and socially.
So what areas do you feel like you're trying to fit into a box? Where are you holding back? How might you be hiding?
If you want help liberating your full self-expression, whether that's in your relationships, your business, or your movement practice, you're gonna love this video.
In it, I share...
- Raw details from the start of my personal self-expression journey.
- An example of a woman who recently decided to quit hiding in a major way.
- How you can start showing up more fully every single day.
Watch it on YouTube and let me know what you think <3
Love and hugs,
Kimberly
If you’re new here, welcome! I’m so glad we’re connected! Just so you know, I send weekly love letters like this to my email list and sometimes don’t post it up on my website until months after. If you don’t wanna miss a thing, click here to sign up for that inbox party! There’s a few free welcome gifts on the inside :)